I am glad I found this blog & comments although can’t believe I am searching for this type of thing for insight at only 32. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years, we aren’t married but we do own a house together. I was always the one to initiate sex in the beginning but as it was the honeymoon period and she was more than willing it was fantastic. As time moved on she started declining my advances far too frequently and not in a nice way either she would throw my hand away or be very stern and just say NO! which as you can imagine left me feeling absolutely devastated and I dare say I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had sprayed me with water as you would an animal. She will 100% turn me down if I try in the morning or daytime my only window of opportunity is when we go the bed at around 10pm. Excuses range from tired, headache, hungry, too hot, not in the mood, too early, too late, work stress. It seems like when we do have sex it’s just to shut me up so afterwards I just feel more empty than I did before, I feel very angry and resentful – having to fantasize about having sex with the one person you should be able to have it with is crushing. We can all sit here thinking what can be done to get sex back on track but sadly I think the truth is they just don’t care
Son, my heart goes out to you. It is massively damaging to the male ego. Forget going to couples counselling or psychotherapists because that industry is completely feminized. You will only end up more depressed after they tell you to be more understanding, do more housework, empathize blah. They want you to keep returning for the repeat budiness and they tell the women what they want to hear, not what they should hear, while denigrating a perfectly normal male sex drive.
I think the sex started disappearing around 3 years into the relationship ironically at the same time we purchased our house
On the bright side, you’re not married and no kids euther! Start to prepare an exit for yourself now. Don’t leave it a decade as I did and end up with further resent. You sound like a decent young man, frustrated by the incredibly bad messages guven to young women by a toxically feminised culture.
As hard as it might seem now, organizing the separation, it is short term pain, for long term gain. Remember this situation has taught you a lot about modern western women and you will be far more discerning in the future.
And do subscribe to Suzanne Venker’s podcasts – she rips our feminised society a new one – and has sone excellent guests. They will make you feel sane again and lesson your pain, once you realise how poorly women behave these days!
What about all the wives whose husbands have no libido or can’t perform sexually but refuse to seek medical help (for erectile dysfunction)? I have been in two marriages and in both, I have been the one with the high drive and just had to live without. When I look up advice online, it’s only for men, yet I have several female friends going through the same thing! I try to keep fit, I don’t nag, etc. I hate feeling rejected and undesirable.